i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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