You work out of a Hotel?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
