Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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