Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize