I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
