Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize