you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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