Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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