I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
