i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
