how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
