Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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