Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
