Buhtt sex?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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