tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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