Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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