Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize