When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up under a house in Key West
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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