I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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