Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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