Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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