I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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