i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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