maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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