Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
