i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
How's work?
Spinning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
