He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
