hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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