There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize