My room smells like vodka and shame
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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