He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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