Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
