Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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