butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
