He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
