i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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