i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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