Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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