so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
