Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize