last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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