No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize