wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
