I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
