She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
