My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
should my penis look like a turkey
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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