i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
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I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
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Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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