He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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