they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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