You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
