ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
