Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
