Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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