Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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