i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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