Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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