she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
