Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
