I heard we made out
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize